Social Work Personal Reflections On Becoming A Social Worker

affectionate Work Personal Reflections On fitting A Social WorkerPersonal Reflections On Becoming A Social WorkerIn this assignment I am sledding to explore the reasons and motivations that inspired me to redirect my bread and butter and enter the societal operation profession. I am going to reflect on my life history, so that I am able to realise the probable impact of my catchs on my maestro life.My story begins with my grandparents, both(prenominal) paternal and maternal, who were working class, suffering disadvant get on and poverty. two my naans worked in the mill doing piecework to try and keep their families afloat. My maternal grand arrest was eternally in debt, borrowing on HP to buy goods, and my paternal gran was a widow who brought my arrive up alone.There was no gather system then, therefore, she had to work to survive. My father passed the grammar schooling exams save was unable to attend, as my grandmformer(a) could non afford for him to go, hence h e had to pay heedk practice session instead. My father worked hard and eventually acquired his own business.As I grew up I became certified that my father was rattling thrifty, a consequence of the hard knocks he suffered as a child and non absentminded to croak to this state, which do me rattling aware of the disadvantages of poverty.My father and grand convey brought me up, with my sidekick. We lived in a terraced house, in East Lancashire, with no bathroom and an outside toilet. I do non remember life as a normal family as my parents divorced when I was young. My grand bugger off was upset by the divorce, inducing her to fragmentize (Klein identified this process as a defense mechanism) favouring her son. She i disperseised my brother, and I was odd to my own devices, (I was denigrated, I assume because I resembled my baffle) often playing with friends and fall in them on family outings.I matte up degage and as though I did not belong whatsoeverwhere. I promp tly adapted my own extract techniques by go badting becoming a free spirit, and dissembling I belonged to the families I joined on outings. Splitting being the close to primitive of the defences (Froggett, 2008).Growing up I remember there was not much money, my grandmother buying clothes from jumble sales, and I all remember getting rising socks for Easter. I was not caseicularly aware of my socio-economic flummox, however, I did recognise that we were different from other families. Although flock no un sealedness did feel sorry for me, I used my in the flesh(predicate)ity to gain credit rating as an individual. This, perhaps, was the beginning of my interest in less fortunate individuals, influencing my ratiocination to enter social work.I was unaware, at this cadence, that I had a mother but I did have contact with my maternal grandparents. My father was not specially political, however, my grandparents were very much of the labour mindset, having split, and adap ted a them and us mentality regarding their status of working class.My maternal grandmother was involved with the Catholic Church and jockstraped others less fortunate by knitting clothes and baking cakes. She was very kind and caring in one way, but to a lesser extent if multitude were of a different religion. During that magazine the association relied on their faith and helped their neighbours, seeing it as a Christian duty. My grandmother was a respected member of the community who was aware of, and excessivelyk office, showing empathy and forgiveness for those less fortunate than herself.She believed that she was improving their lives, but was realistic recognising that she could only function them with emotional and practical quests, not material wealth. Hence, she was not alleviating their poverty but making it to a greater extent bearable, and it could be said that she acted as a declareer for others. Containment (Froggett, 2002, pg 13) refers to the mental ability of an individual, .., to mentally receive and hold the disorganised or troubling mental material of other, rendering it to a greater extent bearable. This resulted in, according to Klein, her realizing the depressive position (seeing the other as whole).Looking back now I believe this is where I gained my set and beliefs, my grandmother being an important role model. Her influence was the beginning of my need to enter a caring profession, feeling a champion of covenant to support and care for others.My grandparents often talked of wartime, the struggles and hardship, remembering rationing and institutions. They welcomed the in the altogether offbeat state, seeing it as an end to their struggles providing avails, healthcare and education. I grew up not knowing eachthing other than a welfare state, accepting it as a right for everyone however, I can imagine how difficult life was for them and the disadvantages they suffered as a result of their social position.Prior to comme ncement of this gradation I have criticised welfare for creating a dependency culture and demonised those who could work and neer tried to find employment. At the time I was suffering hardship, being widowed and pregnant at the age of 27 with 3 boys already aged 18 months, 3 and 5 years respectively. I get widowed mothers allowance but alike worked part time to support my family.I was not in receipt of any other benefits, free school d interiors or free school uniforms. I would have been better off on benefits but chose self-respect, not wanting to be a burden, and I feel this has do me a more in symbiotic person. I realise now that others lives are more convoluted and involve other issues, nevertheless, by working I was not allowing myself time to grieve and by demonising others I was blaming them for my situation.Now I can see all angles and have reached the depressive position, having mourned and can feel compassion for those on welfare. The depressive position being a sel fless capacity to acknowledge other people for their unique qualities and moral worth. (Froggett, 2002, pg 45)I have always cute to enter a caring profession when I was younger people would comment on how I would make a good nurse, but until the death of my economise I did not play along this, as life had presented me with other obstacles. It was due to my own lack of support subsequently my husbands death that I became more determined to help others who could not help themselves. However, during the process of becoming a social worker I have become aware of and welcomed the help I am also giving myself, resolving hidden issues from the past.Being abandoned by my mother left me feeling waneed, isolated, and feeling of no importance to anyone. The experience made me a very independent and untrusting person, making me feel as though I could only rely on myself, and this remains with me to this daylight with exception of the untrusting.As I matured and formed a relationship with my mother, albeit a fragmented one, I now understand her reasons for leaving, (a typical of the depressive position), although, having been widowed with 4 children to raise in later life, I cannot condone her actions. She has expressed immorality and sorrow, and entangle that she was doing the right thing at the time, reasoning with herself that I was better off with my father and stability.She entered a new relationship, having a second family and split her feelings for me as a response. I split in a way that I denied I had a mother, subdue her into my unconscious, and erased her from my memory. I remember at the age of 6 coming dental plate from school to find my mother with my grandmother and not knowing who she was.From the age of 7 I moved area to live with my mother and new family and matte up like a prisoner. My anxiety caused me to demonise my mother as I goddamd her for taking me away from my father and for trying to instruct me to have bad feelings for him. I could not see any unequivocal qualities some our relationship (Froggett, 2008).Consequently my relationship with my mother was never a good one, and I constantly challenged her attitudes, and beliefs. The challenges were sometimes in my actions, but broadly within my thoughts as I was too scared to challenge her instantly as she was manipulative and controlling which in turn made me split and become more independent, refusing to ask for help. I felt I didnt need anyone and could manage on my own.The contemptuous relationship with my mother was a result of a damaged transition into twoness, (separation from my mother) which made me, at times, suspicious and uncertain of relationships in my adult life, fearing rejection and unreliability (Froggett, 2008). My childhood experiences meant that I bewildered confidence in the reliability of the social world (Honneth, 1992, p133) and was insecure.My life changed dramatically when I was 13 and my mother was diagnosed with cancer. It was at this time that integration became apparent, and I was able to forgive and re-build our relationship, achieving a depressive position. I felt call for, and guilt at the same time regarding my feelings for my mother. She was very ill and I was pass judgment to become an adult and run the guesthouse we lived in.I felt very isolated I no longer saw my friends from school as I looked after my family, did the household chores, paid the bills, did the shopping, visited my mother in hospital (before I went to school) and had no spare time to socialise. I managed to cope with the extra responsibility but experience loneliness at home and at school where I was bullied for a time because I was permitted to enter school at 9.30.Other children recognised this as being given special treatment, whereas, it was misrecognition, as I had chores to complete before school, which was difficult, . misrecognition can inflict harm, can be a form of oppression, imprisoning someone in a false, distorted a nd reduced mode of being. (Taylor, 1995). However, my relationship with my mother had changed and I was able to convey my feelings to her and contain my anxieties.This new found desire to help led me to become involved, as a teenager, with helping children and committing to some voluntary work at a psychiatric hospital. Identifying with similar people was a form of release, helping myself by helping others, allowing me to deal with my feelings of abandonment, exclusion and isolation. I positive this further when I later became involved with Home Start, as a volunteer, which was the determining grammatical constituent in my decision to become a social worker.My relationship with my mother deteriorated again when my brother died. I felt alone again, as my brother had been the one stable element in my life, and my way of coping was to blame my mother for uprooting us and bringing us to live with her. I disjointed myself and denied my brother was dead for a period by pretending he w as away, (he had been in the RAF living in various camps) as a defence mechanism. I had just met my husband at this time and his strength allowed me to deal with my loss and come to terms with it he became my container allowing me to reach the depressive position.At the age of 18 years old my mother told me to leave after constant confrontations. We could not live together as we were both decision it very difficult dealing with our own grief, and each others. I felt liberated and was relieved as I had always been too scared of my mother before but my husband, my container, gave me the strength to stand up to her, and I finally found the strength to attain recognition as an individual.When my husband died I feel I split once more. I no longer felt I belonged, I hated everyone, particularly happy families, and I felt isolated and alone (Woods and Hollis, 1990). This could be delimit in Kleinian terms as being the paranoid schizoid position (a form of splitting) (Beckett, 2002).This w as the worse time in my life and affected me deeply. I did start to drink at this stage to enable me to experience ace, but did not attain this (Froggett, 2008). I was pregnant at the time therefore, for the sake of my sanity I addressed my negative behaviour to rule out damage to my child. I realised that I had an unborn child who needed me, as well as 3 other children, who loved me flatly and I someway found the strength to resolutely challenge myself not to disappoint them as my mother had me, this being my reason for containment (Froggett, 2008).During this time I was never asked or given a choice about any form of counselling, and I received very little support. This became my motivation for embarking on social work as a career, as I felt I could do a better job than some as I had experienced disadvantage, trauma and been marginalized. I felt that I would be committed and reliable to the people who needed my support.My experiences have given me an inner strength, making me stronger (Hollis and Woods, 1990), enabling me to empathise and show compassion to others, and I felt that I had a lot to offer others less fortunate than myself. I had always been of an altruistic nature, and during this period of my life I realised social work, as a career, would allow me to practice altruism on a larger scale, gaining emotional gratification (Woods and Hollis, 1990).Hollis and Woods (1990) suggest that motivation is very much affected by hope (p274), and although I had suffered traumatic events end-to-end my life I was able to acknowledge that I could use these experiences for the benefit of others. I had reached the depressive position, could begin to move forward, integrate the experience, and make sense of everything, the world being a better place (Beckett,2002).I embarked on a course at college, studying at night while I worked during the day, and continued my development when accepted on this course. My family felt this was an conflicting choice, as they felt I had enough to do bringing up four children. My mother in particular thought it was a do in of time as she considered social workers to be do gooders.I felt that I wanted to give something back to society, and make a contrast to those who are vulnerable, oppressed and struggling to cope with the pressures of social injustice and poverty. I wanted to make sure people have basic resources to get their needs regardless of race, age, sex, or sexual orientation, empowering them to take control of their lives and promoting well-being. My mothers attitude just made me more determined to pursue this route.Whilst at university I have developed my practice on localisation, eruditeness galore(postnominal) new ideas, and realising the importance of social work on peoples lives. perceptiveness the impact of transitions within a persons life course is important for social work practice in order to help us understand other peoples lives (Crawford and footer, 2003, p5).On placement I wo rked within a family support team, and found one situation, with a young girl, particularly difficult as I identified with her building complex situation. The girl had been abandoned by her mother, and was living with her father and stepfamily. Recognising her feelings I help the girl to develop an internal container by giving her a closed book diary to record her thoughts and feelings, and we would discuss these feelings weekly.Whilst supporting the girl I experienced transference, feelings evoked from past attachments with her mother were transferred onto me, (Froggett, 2008)) and she became very attached and dependent on my visits. I was overwhelmed by the strong emotions projected from the girl, however, was unable to reject her, and as a consequence of her actions encountered counter-transference, relating my own personal experiences (Froggett, 2008).My vision became brumous with my own internal feelings, resulting in my inability to see the girl realistically. I found mysel f very protective of her, working extremely hard advocating for her with her father who was oppressive and controlling, as I felt she was alone, and unable to challenge him. Furthermore, I wanted to mother the girl to boost her self-esteem, and thus prevent her isolation. afterward our sessions I would go home mentally drained.Bion (1977) suggests there are collar types of container-contained relationshipsparasitic dependent and unhealthycommensal mutual containment, of benefit to both parties symbiotic receiving support to manage feelings, and seen as a healthy relationship. as luck would have it I was able to express these anxiety provoking feelings with my assessor, hence she became my container. We had a symbiotic relationship and she enabled me to disentangle myself from the situation, regain my ability to hold annoying feelings, allowing me the capacity to perceive the girl as separate, and re-integrate (Menzies-Lyth, 1988).I was in a position to reflect, appreciating co mplexity, achieving 3rd position thinking, I became stronger as a result, thus I was able to perceive things from a different perspective. During musing I recognized emotional factors had clouded my judgement and I reached a better understanding of the situation, realising I had transferred my personal experiences onto the family (Winnicott, 1971).I acknowledged this noise had ascendn difficult, bearing resemblance to my own experiences, and resolved to be more aware, making sure my professional boundaries were firmly established for subsequent visits and for the future tense (Froggett, 2008). Towards the end of my placement I referred the girl to a counsellor at school, so she did not feel abandoned, making effective use of another support network.Initially I had been attracted to working with children and families, however, supporting this girl made me realise that perhaps family support is not an area of practice that I should go into, as it may prove too emotional a field f or me. Getting too involved with a client could prove ineffective and I could lose my focus.I have faced many challenges throughout my life but I have always managed somehow to rise above these, drawing on my reserve strengths and becoming a more resilient person. The importance being that I feel I have become self-assured, and can be an asset to the profession of social work.The personality traits that I have as an adult are a direct result of my experiences from childhood (Woods and Hollis, 1990, p34)Undertaking this assignment has been challenging and difficult, however, I found that putting my life into words was quite therapeutic, releasing certain issues that I had repressed. Freud suggests repression is the most important of all defences (Froggett, 2008 pg. 8) but releasing my feelings and thoughts about my life experiences enabled me to understand how I came to develop my own beliefs and values, as Crawford and Walker (2003) inform us Social workers need to understand their own life course development and the significance that this has had on the values and beliefs that they have developed themselves. Pg.13.According to the Code of Ethics, a social workers objective is to support people in need, addressing social problems. Experiences have made me the person I am, and utilising my skills, both personal and educational, will help me perform this duty. I believe my personal experiences changed me, making me more open to new ideas, and although I am very much aware of the past I have dealt with it, and do not dwell, moving forward. I have achieved 3rd position thinking, realising that I can be a good enough mother, whilst achieving success as a professional (Froggett, 2008).3289BIBLIOGRAPHYBeckett, C. (2002) Human Growth and Development. London. SageBion, W. (1977) education from experience, in Seven Servants, New York, Jason AronsonCrawford, K. and Walker, J. (2003) Social Work and Human Development. Exeter. Learning MattersFroggett, L. (2002) Love, Hat e and Welfare Psychosocial approaches to policy and practice. Bristol. The Policy PressFroggett, L. (2008) Psychosocial Theory and execute for Social Work A Conceptual Introduction to an Object relations Approach. Preston. University of Central Lancashire. Unpublished manuscriptHollis, F. and Woods, M (1990) Casework A Psychosocial Therapy 4th Edition. USA. subroutine library of CongressHonneth, G. (1969) Integrity and Disrespect Principles of a Conception of Morality establish on the Theory of Recognition. In Political Theory. 20 (2). 187-201Menzies-Lyth, I. 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